I'm Not Ready

I just got out of my last final. I am officially a sophomore and also no longer a student at SBU. I am sitting here in my now very empty room feeling almost that same sense literally in that I feel empty.

I'm not ready to go.

Yes, I know it is God's plan for me to move to Union, but I cannot describe the pain I feel right now from having to say goodbye to my roommate and my close friends. As I write this with the non-stop tears streaming down my face, I reminisce over the past two semesters that have changed my life forever. I love my friends here so much and wish I could understand why God has made this happen to me....I guess I'll find out someday and I'll definitely be rejoicing. I will be eternally grateful for the relationships I have formed with some of the most amazing people I have ever met in my life.

I felt awful when I had to say a quick goodbye to my roommate that I have become so close to. God truly blessed me with the most amazing roommie anyone could ever ever ever ask for. I am pretty sure my new roommates next year will never live up to what Jana and I have. I loved how honest and pure she is and loved being able to talk to her about everything. We had some crazy fun times and those moments will be cherished for a lifetime. Thanks for being you Jana! I love you!

I know this is not the end of any of these friendships, though. My friends here have become my family and we will find ways to see each other. And for when we don't, we still have our wonderful internet to keep in touch on and stalk each other. :)

As I have continually said in my last posts this semester, I am following God's will for my life and even though I'm still fighting Him to see it, I know He knows when I come into the light out of this dark and heartbreaking time for me.

As for right now, I have to finish packing up my car and then make the most of my last moments here in BoMO before I head home tomorrow after seeing my best friend graduate.