The more I have been trying to accomplish things in my life on my own, the more I have found that I am likely to go nowhere. Not like I didn't know this already, but for some reason this keeps coming back to me. If I choose to try to be a person that does not worship and honor God with my actions, then why do I bother at all? Growing up always being taught the ways of right and wrong with the Bible as a foundation should really be the basis for living. Though I truly believe this and have faith that I should do right and be in the word constantly, lately I have just been a really good faker. Now this is not something I am proud of by any means, but admitting this is the first step to going somewhere better right? My last post about my bad day has really been a great reminder to myself that I need to stop faking it because Christ knows when I am and He really cannot help me unless I stay fully devoted to Him and the Word. I find lately that following my devotional really does improve my day and outlook on life for my day brighter. There is a reason pastors and mentors tell us to be in the Bible everyday...to stay focused on Him instead of everything else. Again, to stop focusing on the 'waves' and instead on the One who walks on them is a great reminder for me. All the waves that have been crashing into me lately have really been wearing me out. School is probably the biggest wave right now. It is indeed very difficult for me to stay positive when the workload at school keeps piling up and continues to get more and more challenging. With weeks like this one, I feel like I'm drowning in the waves, but really I need to just keep trying to hold my head above the water and grasp onto Christ in the midst of it.
I have faith that keeping strong and in the word will allow me to get through this storm I am in. I need to stop doubting that I can get through this because I know I can and I will. If for some reason the way I want my life to turn out starts going in a different direction, I will have to trust and accept that it is part of God's plan for me to go that way instead.22 Immediately he made the disciples get into the boat and go before him to the other side, while he dismissed the crowds. 23And after he had dismissed the crowds, he went up on the mountain by himself to pray. When evening came he was there alone, 24but the boat by this time was a long way from the land, beaten by the waves, for the wind was against them. 25And in the fourth watch of the night he came to them, walking on the sea. 26But when the disciples saw him walking on the sea, they were terrified, and said, "It is a ghost!" and they cried out in fear. 27But immediately Jesus spoke to them, saying, evening came, he was there alone, "Take heart; it is I. Do not be afraid."28And Peter answered him, "Lord, if it is you, command me to come to you on the water." 29He said, "Come." So Peter got out of the boat and walked on the water and came to Jesus. 30But when he saw the wind, he was afraid, and beginning to sink he cried out, "Lord, save me." 31Jesus immediately reached out his hand and took hold of him, saying to him, "O you of little faith, why did you doubt?" 32And when they got into the boat, the wind ceased. 33And those in the boat worshiped him, saying, "Truly you are the Son of God." (Matthew 14:22-33)